Anne’s June Update and Musings

How High Can You Count?

My 95-year-old mother is in the hospital recovering from hip surgery. Bless her heart.  (And oh, that’s the real meaning of the southern expression, ‘bless your heart.’ Not this new, ugly, sarcastic meaning that sprang from who knows where. If you don’t know what that means, never mind).  

Anyway, as I was leaving the hospital yesterday, I rode down the elevator with a lovely woman who was also visiting her mother. We chatted a bit while we rode down the elevator and walked out to our cars. I guess the whole conversation lasted maybe 8 minutes. In those 8 minutes, as I was listening closely to what she was saying, she told me that she was old and falling apart (she said she was 64), she was overweight and she didn’t sleep well at night.

So how high can you count? In a matter of 8 minutes, I counted at least 4 things that she said she didn’t like about herself. I suggested that she might try starting yoga and meditation. And we parted ways.

Now, I am not judging where she is and how she lives her life. That is her total right and free will choice. My point is, how often do we actually listen to ourselves? You may or may not know that the subconscious mind is always listening. So, whether you say these types of things in jest to be funny and go along with the crowd or whether you really mean it, the subconscious is always listening. Now, I don’t believe that just saying positive things instead of negative ones will change these ‘experiences’ that you have. If, in fact, you are really looking to change them. Some people are not, and that’s cool. If that’s you, you probably don’t need to read the rest of this.

Where you get your thoughts is based on your beliefs. And this is so much deeper. That is lifetimes of egoic structures that have been around for thousands of years. So, a little positive thinking is probably not going to put a dent in that! As I have worked to shed some of my old beliefs that I don’t agree with anymore, I have found that the first step is simple awareness. That’s it. Be aware of what you say, out loud and to yourself. If you are looking for real change, commit to just observing yourself for 4 hours. You don’t have to change anything – just listen. How many times are you judging yourself or judging others? How many times are you telling yourself you are old, you don’t have enough, whatever it is. Just count. Just notice. Don’t judge yourself for it, just notice.

Since I have been doing this ‘noticing’ for me for the past two years, my high count has come way down! But it’s not gone, by any means. The egoic structure is really good at what it does. But the difference now is that I see myself doing it and I notice it. Then, I can remove the judgment on myself for saying or thinking it. And finally, I celebrate that I am getting more in tune with who I really am, and where I want to change things in my life.

But one thing has been proven to me over and over again – you really do get back, what you put out. And the super cool thing about that is that all of it is OK. If you can get past the judgment and just see things as an experience, then there really is no need for judgment for yourself or anyone else. And that, for me, is a really good place.  

Then when you are really ready to change or shed some of those old core beliefs, let me know and I will be happy to point you to some great ways to do that.

Oh, and one last thing. Play a game with yourself and suspend your disbelief for a few minutes on some of these old core beliefs, that in fact, really are changeable. Like, getting old means that my body will break down. I don’t believe that any longer. Yes, my body will ultimately die, but there is no reason that I won’t be doing yoga that same day.   

Love and Light,

Anne